If only you knew, if only I cared.

My demands are insatiable while you hold me in your arms,

this is an exruciating battle that will cause you little harm.

Expecting you to understand is a ridiculous request,

just trust that I am safe with my head on your chest.

Perhaps this burden is an irrational feat,

But how could I blame you for my lack of sleep?

Tell me I was everything you wanted when you realized it was over,

Grip me tight, help me maintain my composure.

Be still but let me feel you breathe,

help me pretend my past hasn't destroyed what I could have been.

I'm not ready to be alone.

♥

your love is a joke.

I wish that you could only understand how much it hurts.
You don't cause the pain, love, you heal it.
You heal me.
As much as I need to breathe.
And I don't need anything else.
Just you.
But now I'm starting to realize that it's not only about me
and my pain.
How selfish have I been?
Cut.
I am turning my self around.
.. too late for that, huh?
Well, losing you is something I cannot handle.
I will fight for you, until you end me.
And in case you have not noticed, you have the power
to leave me broken beyond repair.
Bleed.
I will not move, I will not breathe.
And when it is over..
I will not have a single word to speak.

finding the words.

I’m a wreck and I know it,
And I tend to show it every chance that I get.
Butterflies in the skies, they just fly on by.
Yeah, they’re making me sick.
They don’t flutter about, I’d do without.
All they do is kick.

Mean it truly,
Sincere heart.
Why do you do this to me?
Tear me apart.

It’s my fault and I know it,
And I tend to blow it, no thanks to you.
Its like you sit and you watch me,
You poke and you taunt me, it’s all that you do.
And I’m not fighting that no, not at all.
Just want to be something, a name you call.
The lips you taste just to fall, madly in love.

let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful

There's a part of me that would rather fade away than be alone,
and the rest of me already knows that I am nothing without you.
Forgive me for falling so deeply, too fast,
but happiness is a concept that I have failed to grasp, up until you saved me.
Because I have stared into my own eyes,
only to see good intentions masking the pain.
So, tell me, what can you see that is worth looking for again?

I love you more.

Breathing does not come easily when I lie awake at night
knowing all I've dreamed to be is held in your arms,
so tight that it feels like forever truly exists.


Because your words have intentions that tempt me to believe
that love has a purpose, other than to deceive those ignorant enough to fall.


Show me, beyond a reasonable doubt, 
that there is meaning to the phrases you utter so sweetly
because you've got me where you want me,
and you're welcome to keep me.

- Afraid to close my eyes.

To Hell with demons,
there's a different type of monster plaguing my past.
He waits until I'm content and then resurrects my pain,
lurking in the shadows; awaiting a chance to strike again.

This evil being finds me in the darkness; my most vulnerable state,
to take advantage of me instead of facing his own mistakes.
Monster, you think I have not noticed your sins?
Drowning the sorrows of spoiling my innocence.

I wish I had the courage to confront you, but I am much too weak,
and in your presence I dare not speak.
Your eyes reveal a reflection of the hurt I've seen countless times,
so out of pity, I'll conceal the suffering I can see in mine.

Monster, you have scarred my virtue more than I know how to describe,
but if you recall what you stole from me that night...
I hope the thoughts eat at you,
and rob you of your precious sleep - as they often do for me.

I hope your body goes numb,
upon realizing what I have become -
as a result of your guilty pleasures.

I can still feel your touch sometimes,
I kick with violence and desperation.
And I swear I still hear your whispers in the silence
"Go back to sleep."
Monster, I am much too weak.

the galaxy is melting.

How does it feel to know you're everything I need?
The butterflies in my stomach, they could bring me to my knees. 




Words are useless when this embrace is the only thing holding me together.
My breathing would be in vain if you did not offer such a dramatic change to the way I viewed the world.
I've learned to move forward, and forget about the hurt.
When I stare into your eyes, they break me down. 
The emotion within them feels like the only thing I cannot grasp.

Rediscovering Relient K was the best part of my daaaay.

We should get jerseys 'cause we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine, 'cause you're outta my league.
And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life.
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust.
It's jealously, they can see that we've got it going on.

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
to let you know you're more to me than what I know how to say.
You're okay with the way this is going to be,
this is going to be the best thing we've ever seen.

If anyone can make me a better person, you could.
All I gotta say is I must've done something good.
I came along one day and you rearranged my life,
All I gotta say is I must've done something right.
I must've done something right.

Maybe I'm just lucky, 'cause it's hard to believe
Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me.
And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside.
It's so very obvious to everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on.

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know you're more to me than what I know how to say.
You're okay with the way this is going to be,
this is going to be the best thing we've ever seen.

If anyone can make me a better person, you could.
All I gotta say is I must've done something good.
I came along one day and you rearranged my life,
All I gotta say is I must've done something right.
I must've done something right.


♥ 

" change " doesn't exist for you

From where I sit the moon is in plain view.
This makes me wonder, are you watching it too?


It's a sudden comfort to know we share this star.
We may not know each other, but from the moon we are equally as far.


Disregarding the circumstances, you and I are the same.
If life hands you a second chance, I'll prove to be proud of my last name. 

- a blip in the existence of a structure vast and great.

I will scream out your name until my throat bleeds
to remind you of all the lies you made me believe. 
Then I will drop to my knees, and wait for sunrise,
feel the heat of my anger in the sting of my eyes.


When I wake up, I'll start over again,
stare in the mirror and beg for an end.
Please, let me go. My life has no meaning.
Somewhere inside me, there's a beauty I'm not seeing.


All I can do is weep, my body is slowly being drained of life.
I will curl up into a pathetic heap, and wait my turn to die.

giving up is for the weak.

Take back your actions.
Take back your words.
Just take a second and acknowledge the hurt that you've caused.


Peer into my mind,
touch my heart with your hands.
Fill the gaps that you left in my life. 

- profound grief

It hurts like Hell, but it will never be enough.
And if you couldn't tell I'm addicted to the rush
that corresponds with the pain, and the flowing blood 
that is carried through these veins. But if I had your touch..


I could make believe that these scars would fade with the passing of time;
I would stare intently as the clock unwinds,
and take note of my skin being freed of the marks that were meant to last forever.
If you gave me but one chance - I would prove to be better.


Because I am no longer certain that the ground beneath me will always be there;
the sky above my head will remain clear; 
the eyes I possess will rest at night;
this pain will keep me satisfied;
my lips will only speak the truth;
or that I can stay strong enough to make it through.


I beg you to step up and reveal everything that stirs behind that calm, collection -
Open up and hold your heart in my direction.
Don't concern yourself with uncertainty,
I'm willing to give you everything entirely.

History repeats itself ;

and I can recall exactly how it felt when you took everything away from me.


Must you now claw at old wounds  
and disturb the peace I have found?


I'll bleed regret. 


I cannot help but stress the lack of satisfaction you will receive from this.
I refuse to let you win. Again.


I am a victim of my own shameful tears.
Let them fall.
Let me drown the insecurities that clutch my throat.


Defined by this cold isolation, 
I suffocate on the words I will not speak.
I hold them captive behind the smile I fake so well.


I can't take it - can't you tell? 


This is the end.

I dare you to live.

If I died tonight, I would go in peace.

I would take you with me.

You would face your past, I'd confront myself;

Darling, we'd make history.

Death is a privilege that we have abused,

repent to this darkness or be consumed.